Everything Coming Undone

The Future is like a ball of yarn you spent all your past carefully wrapping together but then all of a sudden this evil cat called Life decides to unravel the threads in an excruciatingly unexpected manner that drives you insane because you’re simultaneously trying to put the ball back into shape because you’ve spent your whole past building this ball but that annoying brat of a cat keeps messing with it until you just get tangled up in it and now you can’t tell the colours from the rest and you can’t see clearly because the strings keep clouding your eyes and all you can do is stand in painful confusion wondering where to begin to put the ball back together again and if that’s even possible and how long it will take and how long do you wait for that obnoxious cat to stop playing with the yarn!

- SD

A Lesson on Self Control

I often regret that I have spoken; never that I have been silent.
– Publilius Syrus

They say you should live with no regrets but I think that’s inconsiderate.

Regret is necessary to helping us face our mistakes, accept our actions hurt our image and others, apologize and make a fully conscious effort to never repeat the same mistake again.

It’s easy to let your emotions get the best of you. A lack of self control can make you act in ways that really hurt people. Insecurity and negative thinking are difficult to control but if you don’t stop yourself, think about what you’re about to say and get a handle on it, you could make things worse.

If there’s one piece of advice I could give you today, it’s to practice self control. You can do this by:

- Refusing yourself of things you crave, especially if it displeases or hurts someone
– Choosing not to act based on impulse but to think it over first or sleep on it
– Considering how your actions could affect the recipient and whether they would be able to handle it
– Seeing the big picture: Stepping outside of yourself and analyzing the situation to get a full perspective of what the problem is and what the best way to act (or not act) would be.

There are many other ways to practice self control but it is a very important thing we should strive for, for the sake of ourselves (prevent regret and be confident when we do make decisions and actions), and for the sake of the people in our lives (protect them from harm, consider them as more important than ourselves, understand their perspective before pressuring them to deal with things your way.)

We should make a conscious effort not to strike out based on emotional impulses. Thinking before acting. You can’t control how you feel but you can control what you do about it. Lesson duly learned.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

- Proverbs 16:32

- Sarah

Double Feature First Impressions: Lucy and Hercules

My first impression: disappointed.

Lucy had a great concept but a poor delivery. Kudos to the amazing CGI but the plot was thin, bland and simplistic. I didn’t need to use my imagination or any thought to figure out what was happening. It was all handed to me but it wasn’t sold right. I didn’t buy into the story at all so it didn’t impact me.

Hercules was a joke. Literally. The trailer made it seem like it was going to be some epic retelling of his story but instead it was a tornado of awkward, forced jokes. I couldn’t even follow the plot because the writing was from a whole other time period. It was like a half modernized version of the story… it was just plain weird. It would be a really serious scene and then one character would throw in a one-liner and the whole audience (except me) would laugh. I looked around, “Am I in the right theatre? I thought this was Hercules, not a sit-com.”

So if you saw the trailers and had something better in mind, you won’t get it. You’re not going to get what you were advertised.

Second Impression: not bad!

I went to see Hercules again and I had a much better experience! It’s amazing how the audience’s reaction alone can change a whole cinematic experience. This crowd was older, more mature and I was in a bigger theatre. The previous one had jocks and teenagers, much smaller space. A small few laughed at the comedic lines of the film, but their quietness allowed the film to affect me in the way the director must’ve intended. I get it now! I actually enjoyed it this time around.

Work For Your Dreams, Get Paid Later

It’s better to risk starving to death than surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what’s left? – Jim Carrey

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned so far this year is that you can experience real joy when you have to work hard for something without getting something back for it. I know what you’re thinking — you need money to survive. But until you’ve had the opportunity to be a part of something that helps others even if it means you don’t benefit financially from it… until you’ve had that experience, you won’t truly understand what I mean.

I’ve had the opportunity to be a part of several internships and free work projects. Admittedly, some of them burned me out and left me passionless and tired, but others made me feel so fulfilled that I couldn’t part with them. It might be due to the fact that I work with such awesome people on these projects and it might be because they allow me to do the jobs I want to do in a positive environment. Whatever the list of reasons may be, I feel a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment in participating. It gives me purpose and drive, constantly reinforces and builds my skills, allows me to network with all kinds of great people, and looks great on my resume.

The principle of giving without expecting anything in return really applies to me right now, more than it ever has before. There’s something wrong with this Western view that we deserve things. We deserve our rights and we deserve to be paid and we deserve to be happy. Truth is, we don’t deserve anything. We’re given a life and we’re responsible for how we spend the time we’re given. There are consequences to how we choose to live, but that is our choice. In my opinion, it’s better to live life earning good things, not expecting to get them out of a misguided sense that we deserve them.

New blog!

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven’t updated in a while! My latest blog posts have been on my HM Magazine blog and you can check them out by clicking here. I’ve been working online with the editor and CEO of the magazine, David Stagg, to write music news articles. I’ll be moving onto new activities in the near future so stay tuned, I’ll eventually update you. ;) Thanks for sticking around and I’ll do my best to get some more posts in here soon.

God bless you all!

- Sarah

Sarah HM Front Page

Active Love + A Renewed State of Mind

The one day this week that the train was on time, I got to the station late because of the snow. But this is why I just let God have His way: I made a new friend! A really nice family man with a lot of positivity and good stories to share about his life in Nigeria and England before moving to Canada. Honestly, why hide yourself in a quiet zone when you can be open and share who you are with strangers? Why not show a genuine interest in the people you see on a daily basis and make new friends everywhere you go? Why ignore our nature to love and be loved, to comfort and inspire, to share and to listen?

I recently had a tragic and sudden loss in the family. On Friday January 31st at 7:10am my mom phoned me as I sat on the train. Crying, she told me granny Sylvia had passed away. Immediately I burst into tears over shock, confusion and desperation. A thousand thoughts ran through my brain…. How did this happen? Why now? We just saw her… I won’t see her again? It all came rushing down and out. It took a few days before I could really find understanding, acceptance and eventually peace. There’s a confidence in my heart of who she was and a reassurance of her return Home that makes this easier to deal with. Despite the immeasurable sadness of her not being in front of my eyes, or no longer hearing her voice or never again getting to holding her hand, there is a joy in my heart that where she is now in the Place where there is no more fear, pain, worry, depression or discomfort. How could I ever express the joy I feel when I imagine her with her biggest Love, her Lord? In His arms and reunited with loved ones… Seeing more, feeling more, experiencing more. There is such comfort in that thought. It’s where she lived her whole life in pursuit of — where she always wanted to be.

Considering that and applying it to my life changes my perspective and inspires me to behave differently. Life is short so there is no logic or sense in keeping to yourself, being prideful and selfish, taking your blessings for granted, being unaware of how much you have, mistreating your family and friends, abusing the ones who love you, using people, hating people, complaining, being negative, “ranting,” fighting and arguing, going after what you want without any consideration for how it would affect others, the list will forever go on.

When I walked into work with tears in my eyes that Friday, I could see the sorrow and compassion my team had when they saw me, knowing what had just happened a few hours ago. Without caring about politically correctness or possible embarrassment or anything, one of my team members stood up, walked over, gave me a big hug, and told me “Go home to your family. You don’t need to be here right now.” I will never forget that compassionate gesture. The next few days my Facebook was flooded with kind words, sympathies, words of encouragement, prayers, and support from family who were sharing the same loss and friends who never met her. My family received cards, flowers, and phone calls offering comfort, and my whole church shared our sadness. I am forever grateful for this affection and that’s why I think it’s so important to be loving like that all the time.

There is only time to love, respect, share, learn, listen, honour, cherish, believe, CHANGE for the better, observe and be aware, be gentle, patient, kind, consider others as more valuable than yourself, look ahead but learn from your past so you don’t repeat the same mistakes… and so on.

From the moment I open my eyes in the morning I make the decision to thank God for letting me see another day, I kiss my parents “Good morning,” I fill my mind with positive thoughts and I head out to the day knowing that anything could happen that could shake me but I will never lose hope and I will always do my best to love actively. Not because I expect love in return and not because I want to be more popular. Only because I understand that every individual is valuable and because I know I am strong enough to be the person who doesn’t let the hardships of life turn me into a monster.

Best to you all and with love,

Sarah

A Desire for an Unwanted Season

Sitting in the living room of my aunt’s beautiful house in Trinidad and perusing the photographs and music recommendations of a much favoured musician of mine, a thought occured to me when I came across a particular image. There was a man walking towards the camera… head down with a slight smile across his face, his expression disguised behind thick-framed glasses. Snowflakes littered his slick hair and shoulders as he glided through the wintry air. The monochromatic photograph — a moment frozen in time — made me miss winter. In that moment the season, so often taken for granted by Northerners, became something tranquil and beautiful. Perhaps it’s my current location (a warm, breezy island in the Caribbean that I dearly love) that has me longing for the dusting of snowflakes and chilly, ice clean air… but I can see winter as a cold wonderland rather than a frustrating, unwanted season. When I came across the photograph a sense of love overwhelmed me and I am ready to return from my warm, blissful vacation to my frosty, white home. To a country blessed with four seasons (possibly to offer residents spontaneity and appreciation for each of them): Canada, in two & a half days I will gladly greet you.

- SD